Gallery of “Misused” Quotation Marks

Example:

bq. A sign at the swimming pool at Reed College in Portland, OR asks you to:
Please “shower” before entering the pool.
Maybe they knew that no one bothers with more than a quick rinse.
I hope they don’t get a summons from the Board of “Health.”

bq. I got this “auto”-reply e-mail from Bizrate.com:
Just responding to let you know that a “human” reads each and every comment to BizRate.com!
Great! I feel much “better” knowing that.
Me too. Here I was thinking the e-mail was handled by some kind of robot.