I have been getting spam comments every five minutes whenever I permit them. They come from fake addresses and multiple IP addresses and their content is meaningless (it always contains a spelling mistake). I know they are probably testing the site, but I see no choice but to occasionally ban comments. The alternative is to keep deleting them individually from my comment filter page.
This has been going on for a few days now.

Yet more dubious stories. A Tory MP has been taking his Jack Russell to work in the House of Commons, but now he has been caught and the dog is banned. This is apparently a catastrophe for him and he is invoking the Human Rights Act. Commons dog ban breaches my human rights, says MP … and no, he’s not the member for Barking (Mail on Sunday):

‘I told the Whip I would invoke the Human Rights Act – not for Max but for me.

‘Whatever people might think of the human rights rules, and I have my doubts about them, they are part of British law.’

I love the way he casts aspersions on human rights while invoking them.

But it gets stranger:

The provision Mr Offord plans to invoke – Article 8, which governs ‘the right to a private or family life’ – was successfully used by a Bolivian immigrant in 2009 to escape deportation on the grounds that he had to stay to look after his cat.

It seems odd that one Bolivian could get away with this without it becoming a precedent.

But further investigation via Google shows that the cat did not need a carer (unlike Mr Offord’s dog). The Bolivian and his girlfriend (nationality not mentioned) had got themselves a cat, and this was one of several indications that they intended to stay together as a family. See the Independent.

Here is a press release of Saarbrücken University which I feel I ought to report. It appeared in the FAZ recently too.

Bei der Lektüre von Geschäftsberichten deutscher Unternehmen trifft man auf viele englische Begriffe. Damit verstoßen die Firmen vermutlich gegen das Aktien- und Handelsgesetz, wie Wissenschaftler am Institut für Wirtschaftsprüfung an der Universität des Saarlandes herausgefunden haben. In einer empirischen Studie untersuchten sie die Geschäftsberichte der „DAX 30“-Unternehmen aus dem Jahr 2009 und schauten, wie häufig darin englische Begriffe vorkommen. Laut deutschem Handelsgesetz müssen Geschäftsberichte in deutscher Sprache abgefasst sein. Der DAX 30 umfasst die wichtigsten deutschen Unternehmen aus klassischen Industriezweigen und der Technologie-Branche.

Im Paragraph 244 des Handelsgesetzbuches steht, dass der Jahresabschluss in deutscher Sprache und in Euro aufzustellen ist. Außerdem wird im Aktiengesetz (Paragraph 400 Abs. 1 Nr. 1) unter Strafe gestellt, wenn eine Aktiengesellschaft „Darstellungen oder Übersichten über den Vermögensstand, in Vorträgen oder Auskünften in der Hauptversammlung unrichtig wiedergibt oder verschleiert“. Professor Michael Olbrich, der das Institut für Wirtschaftsprüfung an der Universität des Saarlandes leitet, ist der Auffassung, dass alle von ihm untersuchten Geschäftsberichte der DAX-30-Unternehmen gegen diese Gesetzesartikel verstoßen. Die Studie wurde kürzlich in der Zeitschrift „Die Aktiengesellschaft“ (AG 2011, S. 326-331) veröffentlicht.

The report relates to a study of the “DAX 30” companies conducted by Professor Michael Olbrich, which I have not seen. The Commercial Code requires that annual reports should be written in German (section 244). In addition, the Aktiengesetz (usually translated as Stock Corporation Act) section 400 (1) no. 1 makes it a criminal offence if a public company ‘misrepresents or conceals the condition of the company, including its relations with affiliated enterprises, in presentations on the financial condition of the company, statements or information provided at the shareholders’ meeting’ (translation by Schneider and Heidenhain). Professor Olbrich allegedly finds all the annual reports of the year 2009 which he studied violated these provisions.

This is not my field, but I find it hard to believe that the use of anglicisms would amount to a criminal offence.

There’s no doubt that German financial and business texts are full of English and ‘English’, and it is sometimes hard to translate ‘English’ into English, but in most cases one understands what they mean – they just wanted to put a bit of icing on it.

Here’s an article in the Saarbruecker Zeitung with more information.

Besonders viele englische Begriffe verwenden Dax-Unternehmen, die den Namen “Deutsche” in ihrem Firmentitel tragen – wie Deutsche Bank, Deutsche Börse, Deutsche Telekom oder Deutsche Post. Die Deutschbanker rangieren laut dieser Studie in der Liste der Englisch-Sünder ganz oben. In deren Geschäftsbericht liegt der Anteil der englischen Begriffe bei 5,65 Prozent aller benutzten Vokabeln. Die Gesamtzahl der englischen Wörter addiert sich auf 8724. Wer den Bericht der Deutschen Bank verstehen will, “muss insgesamt 391 englische Vokabeln beherrschen”. An zweiter Stelle liegt der Traditionskonzern Siemens. Die wenigsten englischen Begriffe werden im Geschäftsbericht des Düngemittel- und Salzkonzerns K+S (Kali + Salz) verwendet. Hier finden sich pro Seite nur 1,77 englische Vokabeln und insgesamt lediglich 1651 englischsprachige Wörter. Sparsam bei der Verwendung der englischen Sprache sind auch der Sportartikel-Hersteller Adidas und der Stahlkonzern Salzgitter. Den Vogel schoss die Volkswagen AG ab.

“In ihrem Geschäftsbericht findet sich jeweils im Anhang des Einzel- und im Anhang des Konzernabschlusses eine vollständig auf Englisch verfasste Verlautbarung”, erläutert Olbrich. Eine deutsche Übersetzung suche man vergebens.

This is an article from the FAZ written by Tim Schroder and preserved on the website of German Language Services. I don’t know how old it is, but I found Tim Schroder credited as a translator for a Bertelsmann publication in 2010. But obviously it dates from a time when people smoked in cafés here.

Es zieht: One of the first proverb-like sayings taught in German language courses is Frische Luft ist gesund, “Fresh air is healthy.” Don’t be fooled. For obscure reasons, Germans have got it into their heads that air is the enemy, especially indoors.

For a bit of enjoyment, go into a cafe on a dull winter’s day, one where the guests can barely be distinguished through the cigarette smoke, and tilt open a window just a crack. Before you have retreated three steps, the cry Es zieht! — “There’s a draft!” — will go up and in a flurry of panic the window will be slammed shut. In Bavaria, some patrons will make the sign of the cross. What elsewhere is known as a breeze is, in the Teutonic realm, the grim reaper’s mocking breath. To help the recovery from this near brush with oblivion, butane lighters will flare as the entire room lights up as one.

I think it’s very witty (thanks to Elm for the link).

It’s a bit reminiscent of Wash Echte, of Ich werde ein Berliner, but less harsh. The latter has dried up, since it appeared in book form – bizarrely in German. It’s weird to take something well written in English and publish it only in German. I wonder how many they’ve sold (translator: Karen Gerwig). You can ‘look inside’ the book at amazon.de, and see it just doesn’t quite work in German – I don’t know if the German style exists to do it.

John Wells has a blog entry on how English words are pronounced when they turn up in German texts. (Yesterday he had one on the Deutsches Aussprachewörterbuch, which was too heavy for me).

It’s quite a puzzle. There was a sweet bar called Twix that was renamed Raider (pronounced rider) and then back to Twix. So when I wanted to buy one called Nuts I pronounced it noots, which met only ridicule. I went to a German course on Word for Windows, since when I have often muttered to myself Vörtt. Excel is pronounced on the first syllable.

Wells says the authors compare the German and English pronunciations of Buckingham Palace. I’m surprised they don’t give ‘ham’ rather than ‘gm’ for the pronunciation.

A famous example of the difficulty of th for Germans was a Loriot sketch with Evelyn Hamann:

Auf dem Landsitz North Cothelstone Hall von Lord und Lady Hesketh-Fortescue befinden sich außer dem jüngsten Sohn Meredith auch die Cousinen Priscilla und Gwyneth Molesworth aus den benachbarten Ortschaften Middle Fritham und Nether Addlethorpe, ferner ein Onkel von Lady Hesketh-Fortescue, der 79jährige Jasper Fetherstone, dessen Besitz Thrumpton Castle zur Zeit an Lord Molesworth-Houghton, einem Vetter von Priscilla und Gwyneth Molesworth, vermietet ist.

Here it is on Youtube.

It’s well known that interpreters can’t always translate jokes. But this video clip is a good illustration of how little non-linguists understand the problem.

The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop…and says ‘Can you make me one with everything?’

Needless to say, this did not come across. TV hosts said, ‘You know that a joke’s in trouble if you’ve got a translator off to the side’ (this is understandable) and ‘He should have said “one with the lot”.’ (Pardon?)

The commenters are not impressed:

And yeah, this news guy butchered it. The actual joke is:
“Did you hear about the Zen monk ordering a hot dog? He said ‘Make me one with everything.'”