Monthly Archives: January 2014

Fürther ist Feuer und Flamme für den Kilt

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I have to admit I have sometimes thought Franconians were like Scots because they are equally dour. (I’m allowed to say this for reasons of ancestry).

It feels a bit odd, though, to read of a gentleman from Fürth who is fixated on a kilt. And not a sensible kilt with tool pockets but a thing out of tartan. Martha (his surname) seems to equate the English with the Bavarians and regard them as enemies.

Martha ist überzeugt, „dass wir Franken die Schotten Bayerns sind“. Schotten und Engländer würden sich hassen, Bayern und Franken sich auch nicht unbedingt liebhaben, argumentiert er.

He bought his kilt from Andreas Hertl, another Fürth scotophile.

It’s not surprising, then, that there’s at least one Franconian tartan.

August 1997. Designed by (or for?) the Highland Circle – a group of Malt Whisky drinkers in Franconia, Germany. Sample in Scottish Tartans Authority’s Johnston Collection and Lochcarron swatch. Scottish Tartans Society notes say designed by members of the Highland Circle and produced by Hugh MacPherson of Edinburgh. Blue & green lightened to show sett.

There are even Catalan tartans.

The Ballad of Legal Aid

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On 6 January there was actually a lawyers’ strike protesting against cuts in criminal legal aid.

For some reason I had missed this wonderful song by a practising barrister: The Ballad of Legal Aid. Watch and listen!

But the topic is a popular one in music, as shown by this clip promoting legal aid in Bangla Desh (the Bengali term is ‘legal aid’, and ‘hotline number’ can also be heard).

Thanks to Trevor

Transblawg hits the big time

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Fame at last! One hour translations have devoted at least an hour to describing Transblawg. Here’s a screenshot – spot the deliberate errors:

Werner has become a political commentator now and I fear he would not be impressed to be described as Transblawg’s author.

It’s unusual for me to get this kind of accolade, since I never get an award as Best Translation Blog or the like (possibly because I don’t advertise the chance of voting for me on the site advertising the competition).

Thanks to Kevin Lossner of Translation Tribulations for this. Sadly his blog didn’t make the list.

Why are litigation letters often so dreadful?

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Why are litigation letters often so dreadful?

I picked this old article up from a tweet by Jack of Kent (David Allen Green), the author.

It’s reminiscent of the kind of tone I sometimes hit when translating similar correspondence by German lawyers.

The authors of this dreadful correspondence will invariably profess themselves “surprised” or “astonished” (or even “surprised and astonished”). They are “bewildered” and “confused” and sometimes “shocked”. If any of these assertions were literally true then the dispute resolution departments of many law firms must be in a constant state of noisy hyper-ventilation. It would be close to a national medical emergency.

The comments are good too. Anonymous writes:

David,

I am dismayed and surprised to read this post. The allegations are bewildering when they are not misconceived and illiberal.

I await your response within fourteen days.

I wonder if Rupert Haigh’s Oxford Handbook of Legal Correspondence advises this kind of thing.

What it’s like living in England: bank support chat line

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Online chat at bank – problems with PIN since at least November 2013
 – names changed. This is really what it’s like living here:

An advisor will be with you shortly.
While waiting to be connected, don’t forget you might still be able to find the answer to your question and many more by using our ‘Help 24×7’.
During this chat you will not be asked for any details from your Card-Reader.
Please note if any personal information is given, it will only be used with regards to this specific enquiry and will not be used for any other purpose.
You are currently number 1 in the queue.
You are now connected with an adviser.
Jane: Hi, you’re chatting with Jane. How may I help you?
MM: How can I phone you please? I have been trying for weeks to get a pin unlocked, long story, and today yet again I was given advice which didn’t work (unlock pin only at the XBank, not at Tesco – Tesco machines don’t always work). Yet again, Pin is locked!
MM: Before Christmas they promised me a new pin in the post, but it never came.
MM: It turned out they had two different addresses, in Germany and UK, for me (but both should work)
Jane: Hi M
MM: Went to XBank this week and they cleared up the address problem and said PIN OK
MM: Hi Jane!
Jane: A couple of moments please while I read the above
Jane: Are you still getting the message pin locked when inserting the card in the reader?
MM: Yes, exactly, just now. After ‘unlocking’ it at XBank machine outside XBank in Upminster this afternoon
Jane: Okay as you are still experiencing issues I can order a new card on the account
MM: This will take weeks again, won’t it? I’ll have to wait for the new PIN etc.
Jane: Your replacement debit card will be with you in 5-7 working days.
MM: It took weeks when I first got it because no one told me I need an e-card-reader.
Jane: I am very sorry you have experienced this issue
I will do as much as I can rectify this today
MM: That sounds like the best way to go. Can I arrange a payment online, or shall I just wait?
MM: While I’m moaning, sorry about this, not your fault, I must add
MM: that in December I went to the branch and they told me the e-card-reader needs the online pin, not the card pin. This was wrong!
Jane: In the meantime you can call us so we can arrange payments out from the account for you M
MM: And today I phoned XBank, can’t find the phone number any longer, and they told me my mistake had been to unlock the pin at Tesco.
MM: I just want to make one payment, it isn
MM: isn’t urgent, but it would calm me down and I could forget about XBank for a week
Jane: So I can have the issue resolved asap
Jane: Can you please confirm your full name?
MM: MM, attorney for GRM
Jane: Would you like me to leave the current card on the account active?
MM: It’s not necessary if I can just make that one payment by phone, perhaps, or via you
MM: It isn’t my bank, just PoA for my aged brother, don’t use card much (obviously, the PIN doesn’t work!)
Jane: Okay of course you will be able to make the payment over the phone and I have left the card active so you can still use to make purchases etc
MM: Thanks, Jane – can you tell me the phone number please
Jane: Of course
Jane:
Please find the contact details for our Personal Telephone Banking team below:
…
Open 24 Hours a day. Calls may be recorded.
Jane: The card has been ordered to the address above
MM: Thanks very much
Jane: A pleasure to help
Jane: Are you happy that I have fully and correctly answered all of your questions today?
MM: Yes, absolutely.
Jane: Great
Jane: Thanks for chatting with me and have a fantastic day.
Please click here to end our chat and let me know your thoughts on the service you have received.
Jane: I would be grateful if you could take a moment of your time to complete the attached survey in connection with the service I have provided today.
MM: OK, I suppose it will appear