This should be a change from reports about Fürth.

Here is a mural in Upminster Library showing the history and famous inhabitants of Upminster:

This is the work of Terry Ffyffe (sic), an erstwhile Australian. The most interesting famous person, apart from Ian Dury on the right, is William Derham (18th century vicar and scientist).

For studies of the speed of sound (published in the Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society), Derham used a pair of synchronised pocket watches, had his friends fire shotguns at distant visible locations (often neighbouring churches), and observed the interval between the flash and the arrival of the sound with his telescopes and a half-second pendulum up the tower of St.Laurence’s (the doors that he inserted on the south side of the church tower are still visible).

I have most been able to impress with General Oglethorpe, though (O’s parents are buried in St. James’, Piccadilly, but I was unable to locate the plaque to them on a recent visit).

Further images of Upminster: a disappointing Chinese takeaway:

Small supermarket:

Gardening centre, actually not in Upminster but South Ockendon:

Promoting Germany’s Language Melting Pot – Deutsche Welle article

The courses on German language and life don’t sound bad, of course. But what if you don’t play along?

bq. It’s up to the state immigration authorities to decide whether a person’s German isn’t up to scratch. If officials notice that applicants for residence permits or renewals cannot communicate in simple German, they send them to language classes. Officials at unemployment offices can also recommend foreign jobseekers and social welfare recipients for the courses, and if they refuse to take the classes their benefits will be cut.

I think SPD, CDU/CSU and FDP all believe foreigners should be integrated by hook or by crook.

An American translator visiting was expressing surprise a few weeks ago: in the USA, she said, people gradually integrate over a couple of generations, but not by force.

The local paper reports today that two-language classes for Greek children are about to stop. They survived longer than others, which ended in the early 1990s.

Thanks to Trevor, the creator of langwich sandwich.

Kafkas Tagebücher als Blog (deutsch)
Kafka’s diaries as a blog (English)

Thanks to language hat

They get texts from The Kafka Project:

bq. The Project was started in 1998 with the purpose of publishing online all Kafka texts in German, according to the manuscripts. The project is constantly under construction. This multilingual page is also intended to give scholars and Kafka fans a virtual forum to share opinions, essays and translations. Every detail of Kafka’s world will find its place in this site, which aims to become the central hub for all Kafka-interested users.

The site is run by Mauro Nervi, who writes:

bq. You will not find a complete translation of Kafka’s work on this site, nor anywhere on the net. There is a simple reason for that. Just like original texts, translations are protected by copyright and cannot be distributed on the net without the translator’s permission. Therefore you will find here only translations in public domain, or which the translator has granted his permission for.
On the left navigation bar you find the languages of the available translations. Follow the thread and enjoy an expanding corpus of accurate Kafka translations from the original text.
By the way, you can submit translations in any language for publishing on this site. Send them with the translator’s agreement to publication. Translations into English are particularly welcome!

A senior associate at Baker & McKenzie in London sent an email to a secretary asking her to pay £4 for drycleaning his trousers after she accidentally spilt tomato sauce on them.

His email and her reply have been widely leaked – see reports at cnn.com and in the Times.

bq. “Dear Jenny,” he wrote. “I went to the dry-cleaners at lunch and they said it would cost £4 to remove the ketchup stains.” He wrote that it would be “much appreciated” if he could have the money back.

bq. Ms Amner replied: “I must apologise for not getting back to you straight away but due to my mother’s sudden illness, death and funeral I have had more pressing issues than your £4.” She went on: “I apologise for accidentally getting a few splashes of ketchup on your trousers. Obviously your financial need as a senior associate is greater than mine as a mere secretary.”

…

bq. One staff member confided: “She (Ms Amner) copied it to the whole floor and everyone was in stitches. She had come into work this morning to find a Post-it chasing her for the £4 after having the funeral the day before. He’s so tight.”

Thanks to Ingmar.

Who would have thunk it?

I thought this website might have removed its translations by now:

bq. These cheesecakes give you the best of both worlds. They are super simple to make, with our step-by-step instructions you can create your own cheesecake for a fraction of the cost of buying one! Every cheesecake has been handcrafted by Merv J, cheesecake chef extraordinaire.

bq. Diese Käsekuchen geben Ihnen das beste beider Welten. Sie sind Supereinfaches, mit unseren schrittweiseen Anweisungen zu bilden, die Sie Ihren eigenen Käsekuchen für einen Bruch der Kosten des Kaufens ein herstellen können! Jeder Käsekuchen gewesen handcrafted durch Merv J, Käsekuchenchefextraordinaire.

(Other languages available too, in the same quality)

bq. Ajoutez lentement la crème, les oeufs, le lait, le sucre et la vanille aigres au fromage fondu et au battement bien.
Versez dans la croûte et faites cuire 25 minutes au four à 350 degrés ou jusqu’ à la société au milieu.

But the site owner has even chosen to publish Chris Durban’s Onionskin article on his site (the Onionskin is a regular column in the ITI Bulletin):

bq. The translations were done strictly with Machine Translation, so they are not as exact as professional translation. You may find them to be somewhat humorous. We are in the process of professionally translating them, but that may be a few more months…

Chris mentioned on www.flefo.org (the home of the remaining members of the Compuserve FLEFO forum – all are invited to join this project of reviving the forum) that it’s been four years now and no human translations are in sight.